Guides

How to write an ethical will

An ethical will is what a legal will can't say — the values, the thanks, the forgiveness, the blessing.

The ethical will has been around, in one form or another, for thousands of years — the biblical patriarchs left one on their deathbeds. It is a short document in which a person tells the people they love what they believe, what they've learned, and what they hope for them. It is not legally binding, and that's precisely the point.

What goes into an ethical will

There's no fixed template, but most ethical wills touch on five things:

1. Values. What you believe in, and why.
2. Lessons. One or two things you learned the hard way that you'd spare them.
3. Gratitude. Who and what you're thankful for.
4. Forgiveness. What you'd like to release — asked and given.
5. Blessing. What you hope for the people you're writing to.

A short outline

Draft it in five paragraphs, one for each section above. Keep the whole thing under three pages the first time — you can always write a longer version later. The best ethical wills are specific: name people, name events, name places. Abstractions ("family is important") don't survive. Stories do.

How to write it in an afternoon

1. Sit down with a notebook. Turn the phone off.
2. For each of the five sections, freewrite for ten minutes. Don't edit.
3. Underline the two most honest sentences in each section.
4. Type up just those sentences, in order. That's your first draft.
5. Leave it for a day. Read it out loud. Fix what doesn't sound like you.
6. Print it. Sign it. Date it.

Common mistakes

• Writing it like a lecture. It's a letter, not a sermon.
• Trying to say everything. Leave things out — that's what mystery is for.
• Waiting for the right moment. There isn't one; there's just today.

If you'd rather talk than write

Some people can't sit down with a blank page but can talk for an hour about what they believe. Your One Story is built for that: guided interviews that become a written document, in your voice. An ethical will is one of the shortest, most powerful things you can produce with it.

Frequently asked questions